THE THIRTY-FIRST CHAPTER

The Golden Ass

by Lucius Apuleius

THE THIRTY-FIRST CHAPTER, THE GOLDEN ASS by Lucius Apuleius

How Apuleius was cruelly beaten by the Mother of the boy that
was slaine.

In the meane season, while the Parents of the boy did lament and
weepe for the death of their sonne, the shepheard (according to his
promise) came with his instruments and tooles to geld me. Then
one of them said, Tush we little esteeme the mischiefe he did
yesterday, but now we are contented that to morrow his stones
shall not onely be cut off, but also his head. So was it brought to
passe, that my death was delayed till the next morrow, but what
thanks did I give to that good boy, who (being so slaine) was the
cause of my pardon for one short day. Howbeit I had no time then
to rest my selfe, for the Mother of the boy, weeping and lamenting
for his death, attired in mourning vesture, tare her haire and beat
her breast, and came presently into the stable, saying, Is it reason
that this carelesse beast should do nothing all day but hold his head
in the manger, filling and belling his guts with meat without
compassion of my great miserie, or remembrance of the pittiful
death of his slaine Master : and contemning my age and infirmity,
thinketh that I am unable to revenge his mischiefs, moreover he
would perswade me, that he were not culpable. Indeed, it is a
convenient thing to looke and plead for safety, when as the
conscience doeth confesse the offence, as theeves and malefactors
accustome to do. But O good Lord, thou cursed beast, if thou
couldest utter the contents of thine owne mind, whom (though it
were the veriest foole in all the world) mightest thou perswade that
this murther was voide or without thy fault, when as it lay in thy
power, either to keepe off the theeves with thy heeles, or else to
bite and teare them with thy teeth? Couldest not thou (that so often
in his life time diddest spurne and kicke him) defend him now at the
point of death by the like meane? Yet at least, thou shouldest have
taken him upon thy backe, and so brought him from the cruell hands
of the theeves : where contrary thou runnest away alone, forsaking
thy good Master, thy pastor and conductor. Knowest thou not, that
such as denie their wholsome help and aid to them which lie in
danger of death, ought to be punished, because they have offended
against good manners, and the law naturall? But I promise thee,
thou shalt not long rejoyce at my harmes, thou shalt feele the smart
of thy homicide and offence, I will see what I can doe. And
therewithall she unclosed her apron, and bound all my feete
together, to the end I might not help my selfe, then she tooke a
great barre, which accustomed to bar the stable doore, and never
ceased beating me till she was so weary that the bar fell out of her
hands, whereupon she (complaining of the soone faintnesse of her
armes) ran to her fire and brought a firebrand and thrust it under
my taile, burning me continually, till such time as (having but one
remedy) I arayed her face and eies with my durty dunge, whereby
(what with the stinke thereof, and what with the filthinesse that fell
in her eies) she was welnigh blinded : so I enforced the queane to
leave off, otherwise I had died as Meleager did by the sticke, which
his mad mother Althea cast into the fire.